Tonight — actually, just a few minutes ago — I crossed the million dollar mark in Grand Theft Auto III.
I did it on my favorite GTA III habit, "Messing with the Cartel," by taking advantage of my irresistability to the Colombians.
To be clear, I'm talking about the group of non-player characters whose role in the game is that they're
members of a Colombian drug cartel. Not real people — just characters in the game Grand Theft Auto III.
In the story, the cartel were operating out of a cargo ship anchored at Liberty City, manufacturing a
drug called "spank." The Colombians are putting "spank" on the streets, and the mafia — another group of
non-player characters — find the cartel's intrusion bad for business. My character (who I recently learned
is named "Claude") has been working as a "fixer" for the mafia boss, and is asked to destroy the ship to
restore the mafia's illicit revenue stream. The successful completion of that mission has meant that every
time Claude is in the proximity of a cartel member, Claude gets shot at — sometimes, enough to make the
vehicle he's driving catch fire.
So I decided to capitalize on that virtual vitriol to make some extra cash. I set my goal for $1M —
and I just hit it.
To be honest, I got there by cheating — I put the cheats for armor, health, and wanted level to very good use.
There is also a cheat for wealth — I've seen it on a list — but I didn't want to use it, because the whole
point of shooting them and setting them on fire was taking their money.
See details on how I played the "game" in a previous post.
Again, I'm talking about a strategy inside of a video game — not real violence, not real people, and
wistfully, not real money. Please don't take anything I've written in this post out of the context in
which it was written.