halfgeek.codes

I'm not the biggest gamer. I never was — or, at least, I was never much good at it — but for years it's been something I've enjoyed.

I don't think I've ever had a need to be the best at any of them. Surely I've wanted to have a modicum of skill, but mostly I've wanted to have fun. I mean, fun was always the point. And, if fun meant Googling for cheat codes, then so be it. Sometimes the challenges of the natural gameplay fell outside of my fun limits.

I don't think I've ever really played a great variety of games, either. Never really got into sports games — I think I only ever bought one football game and one hockey game, and I played them only rarely.

I've been playing this game called "Destiny" for about a year and a half. And when I say "playing," I don't mean every day. I don't even mean every week. My relationship with gaming in general is very, very casual.

But I've worked myself up to level 40 of 40 in this game. I've come far, and I'm starting to get a little bored only because I'm not investing the time or interest to become that much better to beat some of the insanely high-level bosses I'm assigned to fight. Plus, some of the fights I need in order to "level up" require group engagement, and I don't play with any clans or groups.

Regardless, this is my thing.

I have quite a collection of games on my PC which sits neglected in my basement. Many of those games are far too violent for the eyes of a child, which is why I stopped playing them — certainly in my daughter's presence. Over time, life has taken its course, and now the machine just sits without any peripherals connected.

From a gaming perspective, it has been replaced by consoles, but the games aren't similar. The last time I bought a Call of Duty game I was single. We have a requirement that any first-person shooter is set in some sort of fantasy setting where targets do not resemble people, and the weapons don't resemble present-day guns. We don't even call those weapons "guns"; in games, they're "blasters," to differentiate between fantasy violence and things that happen in society.

That strategy worked very well until kiddo met her elder step-brother. Then all of those hard-fought lessons (oh, and SO many more!) went straight out the window.

Which brings us up to the other night.

Got a phone call from my little girl. She was excited because she bought a copy of Destiny for her other house.

My. Heart. Sank.

You might ask yourself, "Why? This should be fun, right?" No, it's not. It's the opposite of fun. Because now dad won't have time to himself downstairs playing his game. Now, dad will have to explain everything he's doing to a kid who won't bother to pay attention to the story unfolding on the screen in front of her, much less read the content on the screen for herself.

Earlier this afternoon, I powered up the console and started up my game. Kiddo came in from outside and sat down. The questions started immediately:

This game is soooooooooooooo not meant for a 10 year old to play. So my position is that I'm upset that she has it, and I'm upset that once again there's zero parenting happening at the other house to have prevented her from buying it.

Now.... Laurel reasons that she bought it because she's seeking my approval, in much the same way as she bought boy's clothes recently because she's so desperate for her step-brother's approval (true story).

I'm completely screwed.

Now I feel like I can't play my game — this is the only game I play — while kiddo is around, because to attempt to do so will only invite frustration. Following Laurel's logic, of course, Laurel is likely going to make me play it in order to satisfy her perceived need for alignment.

Seriously. Zero way for me to win here.

As kiddo was firing off her questions, Laurel saw me drop my shoulders, controller still in my hands. The look I gave her couldn't have been any sadder. She has to understand that this is killing basically the one recreational "me time" thing that I have.