Oh, dad's not doing well.
I've written from time to time about aging from the perspective of watching our daughter mature,
and I've poked fun at myself for not being ready for the changes happening before our eyes.
But now I want to write a bit about learning how to prepare myself for changes happening in our
parents.
I received a tremendous gift recently, in that something I said — in fun — actually caused my
mother to rethink her position on retirement living. I'm overjoyed to report that she'll be moving
into a community in the coming weeks. A community which she found to be vibrant and alive and open
and eager for involvement and interaction. I couldn't be happier.
The story is different with Laurel's folks. Despite Laurel's efforts to find them a lovely place,
her mother simply was not willing to give up their independence. The cost, we fear, is that they've
missed the window in which Papa would successfully transition into a new environment. His dementia
has become sufficiently acute that a couple days ago he had no memory at all, and was terrified.
I suspect her strategy was to hang onto their house for as long as they could, but now he's
completely dependent upon her, and her strength is failing. We help when we can, by bringing Papa
over here to "help around the house." We give him chores to keep him occupied, believing
he appreciates the change of scenery and I'm sure she appreciates the break as well.
We've agreed to take them on a family vacation in the fall. More than anything, I want this to be a special
trip for Laurel, full of lovely memories of time with her father; also, for kiddo, full of lovely
memories of her with her Papa.
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