Image credit: Simon & Schuster
"How my family created the world's most dangerous man" is the subtitle of Dr. Mary Trump's new book, Too Much and Never Enough.
The book is 211 pages of exactly that: Mary's retelling of how her family, starting with her grandparents
Fred and Mary (often called "Gam"), who viewed their children as assets in service to their parents (Dr. Trump
labeled Fred as a high-functioning sociopath) 1 and cared even less for their grandchildren; it's the story of how
using success as the measure of favor fucked up four kids, leaving them incapable of love and of being loved;
leaving them without compassion for each other, much less for others outside of the Trump family.
Mary's father, Freddy, the oldest of the four, left the family construction and real estate businesses
and was abused for it for years. He died at 42 of heart failure combined with alcohol and depression. After
his death, Mary got front row seats to how unbalanced her uncles, aunts, and even her grandmother really were.
Mary earned a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies. So, her approach to writing
Too Much isn't just from the perspective of a descendant of Fred Trump — it's also from the perspective of a professional
analyst:
I have no problem calling Donald a narcissist — he meets all nine criteria established in the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).... A case could be made that he
also meets the criteria for antisocial personality disorder, which in its most severe form is generally
considered sociopathy but can also refer to chronic criminality, arrogance, and disregard for the rights
of others.... Donald may also meet some of the criteria for dependent personality disorder, the hallmarks
of which include an inability to make decisions or take responsibility, discomfort with being alone,
and going to excessive lengths to obtain support from others.... He may have a long undiagnosed learning
disability that for decades has interfered with his ability to process information.2
The book is not cold and clinical; it is a story of three generations of the Trump family, and the dysfunction
that was passed down from Mary's grandparents to Donald's generation and to Mary's. Much emphasis is placed on
Freddy because he was the working model for Donald and his siblings: Success is what mattered to Fred; failure was
weakness, and the weak were cast out:
The only reason Donald escaped the same fate [as Freddy] is that his personality served his father's
purpose. That's what sociopaths do: they co-opt others and use them toward their own ends — ruthlessly
and efficiently, with no tolerance for dissent or resistance.3
Donald, motivated by fear after seeing the abuse his older brother Freddy received when he underperformed,
invented ways to stay in Fred's good graces, and to dismiss his neglect.
Donald knew, because he had seen it with Freddy, that failure to comply with his father's rules was
punished by severe and often public humiliation, so he continued to adhere to them even outside of his
father's purview.... Donald's growing arrogance, in part a defense against his feelings of abandonment
and an antidote to his lack of self-esteem, served as a protective cover for his deepening insecurities....
Donald's problem was that the combative, rigid persona he developed [as a result] cut him off from
real human connection.
4
This was the start of years and years of being bankrolled by Fred. Despite his ineptitude, Donald had
qualities that Fred found useful and worthy of investment.
Fred Trump came to validate, encourage, and champion the things about
Donald that rendered him essentially unloveable and that were in part the direct result of Fred's abuse.
5
Michael Cohen's DISLOYAL sort of explains the "whats" of Donald Trump's actions and inactions,
while Mary L. Trump explains the "whys." Mary makes it very easy to see how particularly events from Donald's
childhood made him the soulless chrometophile he is today --
Though Fred's business was built on the back of government financing, he loathed paying taxes and would do
anything to avoid doing so....
Fred was neither modest nor humble. Early in his career, he had lied about his age in order to appear more
precocious. H had had a propensity for showmanship, and he often trafficked in hyperbole — everything was
"great," "fantastic," and "perfect." 6
— just as Michael makes it easy to see how events
from his childhood made him so easily charmed into doing the nasty things he did on Donald's behalf for so
many years. I wish I'd read Mary's book first.
If there's any suggestion I could make to the publisher,
it would be to add some sort of org chart at the start of the book to help people keep names straight —
Fred, Freddy, Mary, Mary, Maryanne — had I drawn one, I would likely have referred to it often. Perhaps
that's more a reflection of how bad I am with names than anything else.
1 p. 24
2 pp. 12-13
3 p. 43
4 pp. 43-44, 51
5 p. 27
6 pp. 35-36